The n00bs

Coach Dennis Wolff has added two large men to the team this year, and I think it's only appropriate that we talk about them before they start playing for us.

One of last year's new large men was totally lame. Will Creekmore, some turd-flinger from Kansas, came in with gaudy numbers. Turned out those numbers were so gaudy because he was playing against high schoolers in Kansas. Once he came into contact with real men (aka Coach Dennis Wolff) he decided to retreat back to the midwest like some 6'8" Frenchman. The other, Matt Killen, never found the court much last year but at least he's balls enough to stick it out and work harder. He looked badass in the Terrier Tip-off dunk competition and frankly I don't think he got a fair shot. I asked Coach Wolff specifically about Matt this summer and he responded, "I KNOW Matt Killen is gonna be a player here, and a good one... I just don't know when." We're waitin for ya, Matty, no more Killen time. (har har... sigh)

While Killen will seem like a n00b since we saw so little of him last year, these other guys truly have never set foot on the Case Gym floor. The first is Jeff Pelage, who hails from Pompano Beach, FL - one assumes he did not make his recruiting visit to Boston during the months of October - May, otherwise what the hell is he doing up here? Bring some longjohns, pal.

Wolff describes Jeff as a "physical"post player, and I've read in multiple places that he's a "back-to-the-basket" center. From this I surmise that Jeff can't really shoot and will spend this season coming into the game, missing most of his shots, averaging more fouls than minutes and fouling out of every game. But you know what? We need one of those guys, and we haven't had one since Matt Czaplinski, so I say bring it on Jeff.

Our other large freshman is Jake O'Brien. By all accounts, everyone seems to be hyping JOB (new nickname a la "GOB" from Arrested Development). I don't want people to go overboard because of last time, but we're hearing good things. Jake tore it up in high school and was a state champ, just like C-Lowe. Not only that, but Wolff hasn't stopped fluttering since Jake stepped on campus. This summer, he told me that "no other freshman during my time here has made such a smooth adjustment to the college game," and that Jake "will be able to contribute immediately." This coming from a man who does not bestow compliments like that to unproven players willy-nilly. We need a down-low counterpart to Scott Brittain, and Jake would do nicely. Wolff himself says he brings a great ability to step out and hit the 3-ball with regularity, something we haven't had since Ryan Butt strode the pathways of West Campus. When Wolff breaks out the Butt analogy, you know we're in business. And, from a personal standpoint, this unveils a whole second era of Butt jokes.

One thing's holding me back from a full-on, JOB endorsement though. Jake spent his formative high school years at a place called BC High. Yeah, as in Chestnut Hill University High School. I know, I just gagged too. The "Eaglets," as they're known, grow up in the shadow of an Abercrombie-covered monument of sameness that would make me want to gouge my eyes out. Was he brainwashed while at BC High to hate everything about BU? Will he wait until the most important point in the season to suddenly sabotage the team? I kind of feel we should have a really crazy background check/loyalty test, kind of like they might have for the CIA. I guess time will tell on Jake's allegiances. For now, I'm giving JOB the benefit of the doubt, that he saw the superiority of BU from atop his perch at the other end of Comm Ave, and escaped to seek sweet refuge there.

The whole thing makes me wonder though if anybody has ever graduated from BU Academy and gone on to play basketball for Boston College.